Dreams?

I'm nearing graduation from Polytechnic in one measly semester. 2 1/2 years sure have passed by fast. All the great friends and memories and the not so good ones, will always be a valuable part in my heart. My World, My SP. =)

So what do I want to do after Poly?

No, I'm not talking about NS. I'm talking even further ahead, into a future I still have yet to explore. What do I want to do? What do I want to advance in? What exactly are my dreams?

Which brings us to the subject of dreams.

I've seen Jonathan and Garry, both deciding on their paths for the future, and strive for me. Compared to them I guess I'm pathetic. Garry's decided to embark on his path to designing, Jonathan's got a dream to excel in psychology. Even Kai Yang, has a future of teaching IT and Japanese in the future. Compared to them, I have no prospects.

Pathetic.

You know, for dreams, we sure have to be realistic about them. Dreams and realism are opposites, but the irony is that we have to dream realistically. For example, I can't say that I want to be a multi-billionaire and be surrounded by beautiful woman by the age of 20. That's pure unrealistic and near impossible. People need to have dreams which they can invoke by themselves, through the process of hard work, sweat, blood and tears.

So what dream do I have? None. And that's why I say I'm pathetic. I'm sure many agree. I don't know what lies ahead of me in the future, nor have I seen that far. I can't dream big, and therefore I'm pathetic. Successful people has to dream big.

Engineering is a skill I picked up to ensure my survival. It's to make sure I can at least be able to support myself in the future. But engineering is not what I want. It's supposed to be my last resort. What do I want? Honestly, truthfully, I need to touch my heart and ask myself.

"I don't know."

Various people often told me before, "You sure don't know about a lot of things, do you?" I'm ashamed of that part of me, but it is true. I really don't know a lot. Seriously, what have I being doing for my past 19 fucking years? I'm disappointed. I don't even know my dream. I don't even have that something that everybody has within of them.

When we're were young, innocent, naive, even, we can think up of "dreams" everyday.

"I want to be a firefighter! A policeman! An illegal bookie!" (Ok wait a minute, that last one was a wee off, but...)

We were so full of hope, wanting to embrace the world. Now as 20 draws near in another year, I realise that as we grow up, not all those dreams can be fulfilled. Like I said, we are people who needs to dream realistically. I wish I can go back to those days, where I can rant about what I want to be in the future.

I wish.

Hey, me, give me a good dream. :')